Archive | May 2014

Explore Factors That Influence How Much We Eat

Research Discoveries of How Our Environment Influences The Amount We Eat

  • As in the picture above, when we are served larger portions, we tend to eat more!

  • If you can see the food, and if the food is close to you, you’ll probably eat more! There is truth to the old adage, out of sight, out of mind!

  • Having a great variety of foods that are randomly arranged makes us want to eat more. Think of a potluck that you attended recently. So much food, so little time!

  • Eating from a LARGE bag or box of something. Have you ever noticed that when you eat from the whole bag of potato chips or other snacks that it’s easy to get “hand-to-mouth dis-ease” and end up eating way too much?

    How to Get Control of Portion Sizes

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    • Keeping a food journal can shed light on how much and what you eat and you’ll discover the factors that influence your food choices.

    • Pause for your cause! Whenever you feel an urge to eat, check in to see what you are hungering for. Is it emotional, soul nurturing, or food?

    • Set up your home, work, and travel environment to support your success.

    • Eating regular meals and snacks can keep you from getting over hungry.

    • Weigh and measure foods at home so that you get used to how a “portion” looks. It is helpful to use measuring cups as portioning tools to serve yourself. Also, you can get 1-cup or 2-cup plastic storage bowls to serve yourself. I do this at home with my yogurt and fruit. I take a 2-cup bowl, fill it half-way with yogurt, and put in flavorings and sweetener, I then fill it up with frozen blueberries until the 2-cup mark. That makes “food portioning” very easy to do. Most people underestimate what they have eaten by about 25 – 30%! You might think, “Oh, I’m just eating like a bird!” Watch out! You may be eating like an ostrich, not a robin!

    • Practicing eating slowly and with awareness will help you eat less.

    • Pay attention to levels of hunger and fullness and STOP eating just when you feel satisfied. It’s NOT your last meal, you will be able to eat again!

    • Eating veggies or salads first when you sit down for a meal will help fill up your stomach and you will eat less. I also do this when I’m having a late dinner with friends. I usually eat around 5:30 pm and if I wait until 7 or 7:30 pm, I’ll overeat. So I have a small snack (like some raw veggies or fruit) to tide me over so I don’t overeat.

    • I don’t eat from a “whole container” of anything. I always take a single portion out and then put the other away. For me, I LOVE salted peanuts. I keep them in the basement because I find it TOO easy to just grab handfuls of them if they’re in the kitchen, so I take a single portion (to mix with raisins) upstairs and leave the can downstairs! Then if I want another portion, I have to go downstairs to get it! This technique stops mindless eating.

    • Check out food labels to see the “reference amount” that is listed, serve yourself a “usual portion,” and then double-checking to see how many “servings” you are having.

    • Drinking adequate amounts of fluids can help you eat less. We may sometimes confuse signals of being thirsty with hunger and find ourselves eating food when what we really need is water!

    intuitive eating book cover

Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole M.S. , R.D. and Elyse Resch M.S., R.D. is an excellent resource on honoring your hunger, enjoying the pleasures of food and feeling your fullness. To explore her 10 Principles of Intuitive Eating and her website.

Check out this really excellent book at: http://www.mindlesseating.org/  You’ll discover many surprising facts about why you make the food choices that you do and how to make gradual changes that help you eat less.

MINDLESS EATING.

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Non-Violent Communication

 NON-VIOLENT COMMUNICATION

Asking for what you need in an effective way.

By Marshall Rosenberg

Summary of the STEPS

  1. Describe the situation objectively. Use non judgmental language. Give an accurate description of it without evaluation and judgment.
  2. Identify what feelings arise in the situation. Often people don’t know what they are feeling. Learning the language of feelings is a skill.
  3. State the feelings this way: I feel____________ because I “need”…We may be stumped to understand what we need in that moment. (Use the Daily check-in). I have this feeling because I have this need….
  4. Make a request to the other person and ask them to help me. “Would you mind doing….” Don’t make a demand (they can still say “no”).

 This section is taken from the NVC website.

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is sometimes referred to as compassionate communication. Its purpose is to:

  1. create human connections that empower compassionate giving and receiving
  2. create governmental and corporate structures that support compassionate giving and receiving.

NVC involves both communication skills that foster compassionate relating and consciousness of the interdependence of our well being and using power with others to work together to meet the needs of all concerned.

This approach to communication emphasizes compassion as the motivation for action rather than fear, guilt, shame, blame, coercion, threat or justification for punishment. In other words, it is about getting what you want for reasons you will not regret later. NVC is NOT about getting people to do what we want. It is about creating a quality of connection that gets everyone’s needs met through compassionate giving.

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The process of NVC encourages us to focus on what we and others are observing separate from our interpretations and judgments, to connect our thoughts and feelings to underlying human needs/values (e.g. protection, support, love), and to be clear about what we would like towards meeting those needs. These skills give the ability to translate from a language of criticism, blame, and demand into a language of human needs — a language of life that consciously connects us to the universal qualities “alive in us” that sustain and enrich our well being, and focuses our attention on what actions we could take to manifest these qualities.

Nonviolent Communication skills will assist you in dealing with major blocks to communication such as demands, diagnoses and blaming. In CNVC trainings you will learn to express yourself honestly without attacking. This will help minimize the likelihood of facing defensive reactions in others. The skills will help you make clear requests. They will help you receive critical and hostile messages without taking them personally, giving in, or losing self-esteem. These skills are useful with family, friends, students, subordinates, supervisors, co-workers and clients, as well as with your own internal dialogues.

Nonviolent Communication Skills

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The STEPS:

NVC offers practical, concrete skills for manifesting the purpose of creating connections of compassionate giving and receiving based in a consciousness of interdependence and power with others. These skills include:

  1. Differentiating observation from evaluation, being able to carefully observe what is happening free of evaluation, and to specify behaviors and conditions that are affecting us;
  2. Differentiating feeling from thinking, being able to identify and express internal feeling states in a way that does not imply judgment, criticism, or blame/punishment;
  3. Connecting with the universal human needs/values (e.g. sustenance, trust, understanding) in us that are being met or not met in relation to what is happening and how we are feeling; and
  4. Requesting what we would like in a way that clearly and specifically states what we do want (rather than what we don’t want), and that is truly a request and not a demand (i.e. attempting to motivate, however subtly, out of fear, guilt, shame, obligation, etc. rather than out of willingness and compassionate giving).

CLEAN UP THE MIND

These skills emphasize personal responsibility for our actions and the choices we make when we respond to others, as well as how to contribute to relationships based in cooperation and collaboration.

With NVC we learn to hear our own deeper needs and those of others, and to identify and clearly articulate what “is alive in us”. When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, needed, and wanted, rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion. Through its emphasis on deep listening—to ourselves as well as others—NVC fosters respect, attentiveness and empathy, and engenders a mutual desire to give from the heart. The form is simple, yet powerfully transformative.

Founded on consciousness, language, communication skills, and use of power that enable us to remain human, even under trying conditions. Nonviolent Communication contains nothing new: all that has been integrated into NVC has been known for centuries. The intent is to remind us about what we already know—about how we humans were meant to relate to one another—and to assist us in living in a way that concretely manifests this knowledge.

The use of NVC does not require that the persons with whom we are communicating be literate in NVC or even motivated to relate to us compassionately. If we stay with the principles of NVC, with the sole intention to give and receive compassionately, and do everything we can to let others know this is our only motive, they will join us in the process and eventually we will be able to respond compassionately to one another. While this may not happen quickly, it is our experience that compassion inevitably blossoms when we stay true to the principles and process of Nonviolent Communication.

NVC is a clear and effective model for communicating in a way that is cooperative conscious, and compassionate.

Adapted from:
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life
by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D.
Published by PuddleDancer Press, available from CNVC

Feelings inventory

WHEN A BABY CRIES YOU PAY ATTENTION

The following are words we use when we want to express a combination of emotional states and physical sensations. This list is neither exhaustive nor definitive. It is meant as a starting place to support anyone who wishes to engage in a process of deepening self-discovery and to facilitate greater understanding and connection between people.

There are two parts to this list: feelings we may have when our needs are being met and feelings we may have when our needs are not being met.

Feelings when your needs are satisfied

AFFECTIONATE
compassionate
friendly
loving
open hearted
sympathetic
tender
warm

ENGAGED
absorbed
alert
curious
engrossed
enchanted
entranced
fascinated
interested
intrigued
involved
spellbound
stimulated

HOPEFUL
expectant
encouraged
optimistic

CONFIDENT
empowered
open
proud
safe
secure

EXCITED
amazed
animated
ardent
aroused
astonished
dazzled
eager
energetic
enthusiastic
giddy
invigorated
lively
passionate
surprised
vibrant

GRATEFUL
appreciative
moved
thankful
touched

INSPIRED
amazed
awed
wonder

JOYFUL
amused
delighted
glad
happy
jubilant
pleased
tickled

EXHILARATED
blissful
ecstatic
elated
enthralled
exuberant
radiant
rapturous
thrilled

PEACEFUL
calm
clear headed
comfortable
centered
content
equanimous
fulfilled
mellow
quiet
relaxed
relieved
satisfied
serene
still
tranquil
trusting

REFRESHED
enlivened
rejuvenated
renewed
rested
restored
revived

Feelings when your needs are not satisfied

AFRAID
apprehensive
dread
foreboding
frightened
mistrustful
panicked
petrified
scared
suspicious
terrified
wary
worried ANNOYED
aggravated
dismayed
disgruntled
displeased
exasperated
frustrated
impatient
irritated
irked

ANGRY
enraged
furious
incensed
indignant
irate
livid
outraged
resentful

AVERSION
animosity
appalled
contempt
disgusted
dislike
hate
horrified
hostile
repulsed

CONFUSED
ambivalent
baffled
bewildered
dazed
hesitant
lost
mystified
perplexed
puzzled
torn DISCONNECTED
alienated
aloof
apathetic
bored
cold
detached
distant
distracted
indifferent
numb
removed
uninterested
withdrawn

DISQUIET
agitated
alarmed
discombobulated
disconcerted
disturbed
perturbed
rattled
restless
shocked
startled
surprised
troubled
turbulent
turmoil
uncomfortable
uneasy
unnerved
unsettled
upset

EMBARRASSED
ashamed
chagrined
flustered
guilty
mortified
self-conscious FATIGUE
beat
burnt out
depleted
exhausted
lethargic
listless
sleepy
tired
weary
worn out

PAIN
agony
anguished
bereaved
devastated
grief
heartbroken
hurt
lonely
miserable
regretful
remorseful

SAD
depressed
dejected
despair
despondent
disappointed
discouraged
disheartened
forlorn
gloomy
heavy hearted
hopeless
melancholy
unhappy
wretched

TENSE
anxious
cranky
distressed
distraught
edgy
fidgety
frazzled
irritable
jittery
nervous
overwhelmed
restless
stressed out VULNERABLE
fragile
guarded
helpless
insecure
leery
reserved
sensitive
shaky

YEARNING
envious
jealous
longing
nostalgic
pining
wistful

The contents of this page can be downloaded and copied by anyone so long as they credit CNVC as follows:

(c) 2005 by Center for Nonviolent Communication
Website: www.cnvc.org Email: cnvc@cnvc.org
Phone: +1.505.244.4041

Basic needs inventory

The following list of needs is neither exhaustive nor definitive. It is meant as a starting place to support anyone who wishes to engage in a process of deepening self-discovery and to facilitate greater understanding and connection between people.

CONNECTION
acceptance
affection
appreciation
belonging
cooperation
communication
closeness
community
companionship
compassion
consideration
consistency
empathy
inclusion
intimacy
love
mutuality
nurturing
respect/self-respect
CONNECTION continued
safety
security
stability
support
to know and be known
to see and be seen
to understand and
be understood
trust
warmthPHYSICAL WELL-BEING
air
food
movement/exercise
rest/sleep
sexual expression
safety
shelter
touch
water
HONESTY
authenticity
integrity
presencePLAY
joy
humor

PEACE
beauty
communion
ease
equality
harmony
inspiration
order

AUTONOMY
choice
freedom
independence
space
spontaneity

MEANING
awareness
celebration of life
challenge
clarity
competence
consciousness
contribution
creativity
discovery
efficacy
effectiveness
growth
hope
learning
mourning
participation
purpose
self-expression
stimulation
to matter
understanding

The contents of this page can be downloaded and copied by anyone so long as they credit CNVC as follows:

(c) 2005 by Center for Nonviolent Communication
Website: www.cnvc.org Email: cnvc@cnvc.org
Additional resources

Elsbeth Martindale has a terrific website that explores NVC: http://www.couragetobloom.com/getting-needs-met

Wikipedia article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonviolent_Communication

To explore feelings: http://www.cnvc.org/Training/feelings-inventory

10 steps to peace:
http://www.cnvc.org/Training/10-steps-peace

NVC model: http://www.cnvc.org/Training/the-nvc-model

To purchase the book:
http://www.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Marshall-Rosenberg/dp/1892005034

YouTube videos: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dpk5Z7GIFs GREAT SUMMARIES!

Additional articles

Don’t Quit! Discover How to Keep Going When You Want to Give Up.

Remember Each Day Your Motivation!

Angels Song

What is motivation? It is something that inspires you to take action, gives you drive, nurtures enthusiasm! It spurs you on and provides an impetus to continue, an overall driving force! It helps you want to keep going when things are tough and one part of you wants to quit!

What helps develop that quality for you? Below I share some possible things to consider.

Be in AWE of your natural ability to bring beneficial changes into your life!

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Cultivate the attitude of discovery, appreciation, and FUN for your journey!

Success = Problem Solving + Practice + Persistence + Patience + Personal Kindness —> New Habits!!!

You can always BEGIN AGAIN! Any mistakes or failures, no matter how great, are never infinite, they’re finite! So, climb back up and begin again! It’s all self-discovery! You learn what works and what doesn’t work for you. So, if you take one step, then fall on your face, then take another step and…fall on your face…you’re PROGRESSING one step by “one body length” at a time! I call it “stumbling in the right direction!”

Also ask yourself, “How will I take time this week (each day) to acknowledge my efforts?” Throw yourself at life! Keep your eyes wide open and learn. Have FUN!

  • Set your motivation, your intention—your reason for making the effort. Fertilize your new growth with If You Would Grow. Look at  A Daily Reminder. Doing this will help you weather the ups and downs of your life’s journey. Consider also that you want to free your heart, mind, body, and spirit from suffering. You want to be a healthy, happy camper!! You desire to celebrate your life!
  • Create an inspiring reason for your commitment! Perhaps get a notebook and write down the answers to these questions:
    1. How would you define success for yourself? What do you want to do or change in your life? How would it benefit you (or others) to do it?
    2. List some advantages and disadvantages of keeping things the way they are or doing things differently:

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To continue ASK Yourself:

      • What are advantages of the way things are now? What are disadvantages of things right now?
      • What are the difficulties of doing things differently? What would be the benefits of doing other things?

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I encourage you to take the time to write down the answers to these questions and consider them for yourself.

After you go through this “sorting out” process, you will have convinced yourself of the value TO YOU of choosing to make an investment in yourself to change your life. Consider: Change? Who me? How?

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Lovely Smiles

  • Prioritize. Take the time. Invest in yourself: Invent a new life! When you choose to do this, your deep emotional core KNOWS that you love and value…YOU! Radiate towards you, Shine The Light of Self-Care to learn about how transform the root of low self-esteem. For me, it came from having delight deficiency syndrome. I didn’t take enough time to care for my soul and spirit in nurturing ways. I found that deep down I didn’t feel worthwhile. For me, applied self-esteem was learning how to take time for activities that fill up my well of reserve; so from that well, I then take time to help others.
  • For me, taking time to remember the pain of the past helps keep me motivated to make the daily commitment to ongoing lifestyle change. Delve into Bob’s story, The Emotional Area.

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  • In my Mission statement I share my overriding reason for taking the hundreds of hours that it has taken to write and post all of the materials you find on this BLOG and my website (this keeps me going). Imagine that you have developed all the skills and have PERSONALLY experienced all of the deep mental, emotional, and physical shifts in your relationship with yourself! Your life is transformed! Wow! Cool, huh?
    • To empower each person to become a loving caregiver (their own lifestyle COACH) to their body, mind, and spirit; in effect, to learn how to nurture, honor, and respect themselves. 

In this BLOG each person will get to the root of their weight imbalance by identifying thoughts, feelings, and lifestyle patterns that affect on their eating and activity choices. For each person, I will support your efforts as you learn skills that allow you to:

See your life as a whole and develop wisdom and discernment about your moment-to-moment choices. You will come to understand how each of your daily choices affect your body, mind, and spirit–how everything is interconnected.

May the seeds of self-honoring and respect, self-empowerment and awareness, sprout, grow, and blossom into a wondrous, abundant new life for you!

Along your journey of change, be gentle with yourself! Trust YOU.

Small Baby Steps Lead to Success

Be respectful towards yourself:

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“Don’t shout at the apple and demand that it ripen!

It won’t ripen any faster and all you’ll get is a sore throat!!!”

Unexpedted Joys

DON'T QUIT!

Words To Inspire the Soul

Click www.Daveswordsofwisdom.com for more

Day of Metta For All Beings

The World Day of Metta’s Mission is to create a change in the climate of global consciousness so that the basic needs of ALL beings may be met. May the Metta become the central tenet by which humanity makes choices.

WORLD DAY OF METTA

Why Metta?

The Metta advocates using our most powerful tools, love and kindness, for personal, ecological, and social transformation. The Metta is a new story to seed consciousness with joyous possibility so that fresh air, water, food, love, joy and peace become realities in this world. As a platform on which all ecological and social movements may stand, the Metta highlights WE consciousness, unity and relationship. Metta promotes a worldview that can free us from the grip of the industrial growth society for when we draw our thoughts, words, actions, principles, and policies from the Metta, we can return to harmony within ourselves and in the world.

Lovely Smiles

Click here to learn more about The Metta.

View photos from our 2014 event in Boise

May all beings have fresh air to breathe

May all beings have fresh clean water to drink

May all beings have food to eat

May all beings have a home

May all beings have someone to share love with

May all beings know their true purpose

May all beings be well and happy

May all beings be free from suffering

Today, I shall do what I can to make this so.

MAY ALL BEINGS HAVE...

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