Archive | July 2014

Explore the Dieting VS Non-Dieting Approach: Be Healthy At Any Size!

We try SO many things to achieve weight loss!

DIET = Die + “T” for Torture!

Have you ever been on a diet before? How did they work for you? What problems came up? Did the programs or approaches that you tried promote healthy, long-term changes in your life?

Did they promote respectful, empowering changes that you could follow for a lifetime? Most people don’t find permanent, enjoyable suggestions and strategies that help them make lasting adjustments in their lives.

This website does it differently. If you’re tried of all the OLD approaches, then read on to discover a fresh, FUN, new way!

All of the sections of this Web site apply my focus in Balanced Weight Management, that of cultivating Health-At-Any-Size.

This includes eating well (with pleasure and awareness), living actively (celebrating the joy of movement), and feeling good about yourself and others–really celebrating your life!  Every section discusses an aspect of whole-person health: health of body, mind, and spirit. Frolic around  the Essential Skills!  Discover that as your life comes into greater balance…your weight and health will come into balance.

Before you begin your journey, I encourage you to set your motivation, your intention—your reason for making the effort. Fertilize your new growth with If You Would Grow. Bask in A Daily Reminder and Practice Kind Discipline: Transform The “Good/Bad” Paradigm, and lastly Life-Long Companion.

Encourage yourself with How to Keep Motivated: Remember Each Day Your Motivation! Doing this will help you weather the ups and downs of your life’s journey. Consider also that you want to free your heart, mind, body, and spirit from choices and patterns that don’t work. You want to be a healthy, happy camper! Perhaps explore How Can You Begin to Make Changes? and use the guidelines of the Daily Personal Check-In.

           You Desire to Celebrate Your Life! What Does It Look Like When Things Are Going Well?

                        Dieting                                 versus                               

        Grim (harmful) approach

  • Believing that being thin is good, being overweight is bad.
  • Thinking you must weigh XXX pounds.
  • Hating your body–always at war with yourself.
  • Thinking your life will be better when you just lost weight
  • Losing pounds is the focus
Non-dieting* Gentle (nurturing) approach


  • Seeking to improve health, energy, fitness, and well-being.
  • Appreciating body differences of all people, including you
  • Respecting your body and honoring yourself with your daily choices.
  • Accepting yourself for the wonderful person you already are, right now.
  • Cultivating more nurturing and healthful inner attitudes and behaviors is the focus. This happens from an understanding of how lifestyle, familial, genetic, and cultural factors influence your daily patterns.

  • Seeking a quick fix (impatient)
  • Planning to change behaviors only temporarily.
  • Being rigid and perfectionist–all or nothing–abusive towards ourselves and authoritarian.
  • Not wanting to spend the time to explore the “root causes” that have led to your present lifestyle imbalance.

  • Progressing one step at a time (patient) while having FUN!
  • Developing new respectful lifestyle habits that can last a lifetime.
  • Remaining flexible and open to new ideas as you celebrate the joy of learning.
  • Be gentle with ourselves as we practice kind-discipline. We see our unborn wholeness and trust for it to emerge.
  • We set the intention to free our hearts and minds from suffering and desire to cultivate choices that bring lasting well-being to us.

  • Relying on “experts” and exterior guidelines.
  • Attempting deprivation and restriction.
  • Judging food, eating, and exercise behavior as good or bad.
  • Allowing a program to control what you eat, how much, and when.
  • Needing to force yourself to exercise and being very obsessive.

  • Trusting yourself to find what works as you tune within your own self, for your own answers.
  • Being moderate and positive.
  • Doing what you want–with personal responsibility for your choices. Learning where your choices lead you.
  • Eating what you want–with awareness and pleasure.
  • Learning to move your body in ways that bring you pleasure.

  • You may lose weight, but will usually gain it back–plus more.
  • Setbacks will cause guilt, self-blame, and self- hatred.
  • Reinforces binge eating and a preoccupation with food.
  • Lowers your metabolism
  • You’ll feel like a failure when weight is regained.
  • You’ll become even more discouraged that you’ll ever find a solution that is safe and effective.
  • Reinforces an unhealthy relationship with foods and yourself.
  • Diets don’t work for long and they are harmful to us!

  • Your small steps will lead to successfully becoming more fit, healthy, and frisky from within.
  • Setbacks (which are normal and a part of the process of learning any new skill) will encourage forgiveness and increased self understanding and self-mastery.
  • You’ll feel more in charge, as you become more skilled.
  • You’ll learn more about yourself than you might have ever thought possible and make changes that you really want to make.
  • You have learned to develop a more unconditional and compassionate friendship with yourself!


  © 2004, adapted with permission, Kaiser Permanente Northwest Health Education Services, Cultivating Health™ Weight Management Kit


                                                                           Feast on…

                   Visit to Feast on a “Diet of Self-love” and Self-Care

 Check out Linda Bacon, PhD for an exploration of HAES principles: and her book :

Feast on a diet of self-love

A Diet of Self Love

Stir up and savor nurturing thoughts and actions

Discover How to Develop a Loving Relationship with You

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The Diet VS Non-diet graph above expresses a holistic and respectful focus. This BLOG and Web site (see 12 Essential Skills section and others) make suggestions on how to apply this new paradigm. My intention is promote this new way of cultivating life-long health and well-being.

This BLOG and Web site is VERY ECLECTIC, that is I have included many different approaches from numerous authors. I have NOT found that there is any one approach that will work for everyone. The issues that I have explore have been all of the ones that influence the 20 – 60 people that I have seen every week during the last year and during the last 25 years that I have taught healthier lifestyle programs.

I have found that NO ONE approach, book, resource, or process provides the COMPLETE answer to personal transformation. So, take what you like (what works for you) and leave the rest (what doesn’t work for you).


Engender a sense of tolerance.

There are many paths to well-being.

Use what works. Release what doesn’t.

These tools and information are supplied as a initial support to promote self-management and self-awareness (guided learning) in certain areas. They are to provide FLEXIBLE–NOT RIGID–STRUCTURE and a “tool kit” of OPTIONS to try out. They are to be experimented with, using the suggestions and ideas FLEXIBLY and respectfully. Take what you like–what is helpful, and leave the rest–what isn’t helpful to you.

124 WISDOM ROCK_4557081

It is also essential to explore Do You Experience Overwhelming Circumstances? section if you find your life at present is touched by many challenging circumstances that make achieving a healthier weight seem impossible. You might feel helpless and hopeless about changing. Is this how you are feeling? I have felt that same way before. Things CAN change for the better.

To achieve a healthier life and be healthier–permanently, (health maintenance), you will need to change the way you live your life. An essential skill and practice is for YOU to become your own personal lifestyle coach. To begin, see How To Use This Site.

This process can be FUN and enjoyable! Self-care should NEVER be torture, or in any way personally disrespectful. You can learn to celebrate a healthful lifestyle! In fact, making FUN your focus will insure that your new patterns naturally become your new way you create your life.

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Frolic around:  CELEBRATE Healthful Eating! Yum! Make It FUN. Make It Colorful!, CELEBRATING The Simple Joys Of Life!, The Power of Fun: Celebrate Enjoyable Ways To Be Active!, Frolic in Nature, An Alphabetical Guide to Zestful Living, and Sprinkle Dollops of Delight and Self-Care Towards Yourself for ideas of how to begin.

My intention is that you DO NO HARM to yourself through your exploring and using any of the materials on my BLOG or Web site. You guide yourself with intention–the vision to be the happiest and healthiest you can be– but NOT torture or any form of self-disrespect!

uncondition love ROSE

Know when to focus out. Stop trying too hard. Make learning all of these new skills more like a enjoying a hobby rather than doing a tedious and difficult job. Practice the Essential Skill #9-self-nurturing and self-esteem when you find your “well of reserve” a little depleted and you feel drooped.


Along your journey of change, be gentle with yourself!

Be respectful towards yourself:


“Don’t shout at the apple and demand that it ripen!

It won’t ripen any faster and all you’ll get is a sore throat!!!”

—Advice given to me by my counselor

Nurturing Nibbles: Learn How to Practice a Diet of Self-love


Stop traditional dieting! Feast on a diet of self-love. Create a life that blesses you with every choice you make! Stir up & savor nurturing thoughts & actions for you. NOTE: All of these lovely drawings are in color in my Playbook. Check out my dear friend Carol’s website who created these lovely drawings: see her other works

Visitto Feast on a “Diet of Self-love”


Being an adult human is difficult at times. Consider that when you’re feeling sad or overwhelmed, listen to your inner emotional cries. Just as a mother would react towards her beloved child, embrace your pain & confusion. Be kind. Be gentle. Be compassionate…with you!


How to Develop a Loving, Self-Nurturing, Inner Voice For You!

To hear a Windows Media File of How to Develop a Nurturing Inner Voice for You, double click (quickly) here.

How to Develop a Loving Relationship with You

Many of us don’t know how to develop an unconditionally friendly and gentle inner voice for ourselves when we make mistakes and get off track. So talk with yourself: Oh sweetheart, what’s the matter? What do you need? I’m here for you. I LOVE you. This poster shares how to develop a compassionate friendship with…yourself! It gives ideas about how to do it every day.

Non Violent Communication

Dialectical behavior therapy

Setting Healthy Boundaries

What Are We Powerless Over?

Make Your Mind an Ocean: Become Your Own Therapist!

Out of Hell, Into Freedom Thoughts

Thoughts On Healing and Helping Yourself and Others

What Is Life About? Heart Advice

Home Coming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child

(Healing from adverse childhood experiences)


After you’ve checked inside and found out what you need to be well, then invest in frisky living for yourself! Cultivate body, mind, and spiritual health. Our lives are an ecosystem. Every choice we make affects every other choice we make. Make a regular investment in you: consume essential self-care nutrients. Explore Physical, Spiritual, People Support, Mental/emotional, and Flexible Lifestyle Structure to help you achieve your dreams! Each of these is a GIFT to yourself and the world. Start where you are and create a new life!


Creating Healthy Relationships


The KEY thing is to make all of this exploration…FUN! Celebrate lifelong-learning. Focus on your favorite things…make this more like a hobby of healthfulness, instead of job that you don’t enjoy. You can see I LOVE food and cooking, gardening, music, computers, and all of nature…LIFE reach out and hug it! Check out Frolic in Nature on my website for wonderful nature spots in the Pacific Northwest.

To help you feel better and restore balance you…give to yourself and brew-up and invent a new life! You’re part of the research and development department. Set you intention for yourself to stretch yourself to your highest levels of health and well being. Have FUN!


Through this process of regular self-nurturing you say YES to your wild and precious life! You have within you all the answers to the challenges you face. Become your own personal lifestyle trainer. Tune within for your answers. As you practice this skill, step-by-step you become healthier from the inside out!


Because I am the only person I will have a relationship with all of my life, I choose:
* To love myself the way I am now
*To always acknowledge that I am enough just the way I am
*To love, honor, and cherish myself
* To be my own best friend
*To be the person I would like to spend the rest of my life with
* To always take care of myself so that I can take care of others
*To always grow, develop, and share my love and life
Ron and Mary Hulnick, University of Santa Monika


Here’s a picture of Bob’s “strength-training lunch bag.” I never go out of the house without some healthy munchies with me. Then I can eat whenever I’m hungry. I plan for it in the morning then don’t have to worry about it during the day. It saves time, money, helps me maintain balanced, healthy, and delicious eating. See my Playbook and website for MANY ideas on my strength-training lunch bag.


Go on the wild side! Create new traditions. Here’s my friend Jon as he celebrates his birthday with a SANDWICH BIRTHDAY CAKE! See my website for complete information to make this healthy and really yummy cake.!.htm


Here’s my Playbook! It shares the essence of all the wisdom that I’ve learned after working with about 75 people every week for the last 20 years as a lifestyle coach and health educator. My website   has about 16-18 books worth of information and links to hundreds of other terrific sites. The KEY skill is to develop compassionate awareness or mindfulness of how your moment-by-moment choices affect your life. As you plant your life with seeds of well-being you gradually become fit and frisky from within! Happy gardening.


Here’s the back cover of my Playbook. Check out the Essential Skills that allow you to develop skill power and not have to rely on will power. Through practicing these skills, you’ll become your own lifestyle coach and be able to guide yourself through all of life’s seasons. Happy exploring!


Metaphorically, become a gardner to your own mind and life. Discover the truth: What you plant is what you get! Your moment-by-moment choices shape your life. You BECOME what you think, what you eat, and what you do! You create your life with each choice you make, so plant the garden of your life with seeds of well-being…and gradually reap your harvest of health and friskiness!!


Don’t we all need love, especially now? All of our world is struggling at this moment. Consider nurturing love and caring for everyone, including you!

The message of my Playbook, website, and these “nurturing nibbles” posters is to feast on an unconditionally loving friendship with yourself and all people on earth.

As Ghandi said, ” Be the change in yourself that you want to see in the world.”

Your healing contributes to the healing of the world! Much love and caring to you,

🙂 Bob


In the 8th grade my lifestyle habits were completely off track. I was depressed, emotionally shut down, and had very low self esteem. My eating and lifestyle habits kept me in the same place for years until I was 21 years old. To change, I needed to learn WHY I made the choices I did, and learn new lifestyle skills to do it differently. I’ve now kept making these new choices for 42 years.


Here’s me. I’m hiking in Goat Rocks Wilderness. I could NEVER have done this unless I’d changed my lifestyle habits. The quality of my life has dramatically improved because of my learning the 12 essential skills that are shared in my Playbook. At 63 years old I still go back packing with about a 45-pound pack on my back!  Check out my Frolic In Nature page for beautiful pictures of lovely spots.


Bob’s birthday picture at 63 years old!