Explore the Dieting VS Non-Dieting Approach: Be Healthy At Any Size!

We try SO many things to achieve weight loss!

DIET = Die + “T” for Torture!

Have you ever been on a diet before? How did they work for you? What problems came up? Did the programs or approaches that you tried promote healthy, long-term changes in your life?

Did they promote respectful, empowering changes that you could follow for a lifetime? Most people don’t find permanent, enjoyable suggestions and strategies that help them make lasting adjustments in their lives.

This website does it differently. If you’re tried of all the OLD approaches, then read on to discover a fresh, FUN, new way!

All of the sections of this Web site apply my focus in Balanced Weight Management, that of cultivating Health-At-Any-Size.

This includes eating well (with pleasure and awareness), living actively (celebrating the joy of movement), and feeling good about yourself and others–really celebrating your life!  Every section discusses an aspect of whole-person health: health of body, mind, and spirit. Frolic around  the Essential Skills!  Discover that as your life comes into greater balance…your weight and health will come into balance.

Before you begin your journey, I encourage you to set your motivation, your intention—your reason for making the effort. Fertilize your new growth with If You Would Grow. Bask in A Daily Reminder and Practice Kind Discipline: Transform The “Good/Bad” Paradigm, and lastly Life-Long Companion.

Encourage yourself with How to Keep Motivated: Remember Each Day Your Motivation! Doing this will help you weather the ups and downs of your life’s journey. Consider also that you want to free your heart, mind, body, and spirit from choices and patterns that don’t work. You want to be a healthy, happy camper! Perhaps explore How Can You Begin to Make Changes? and use the guidelines of the Daily Personal Check-In.

           You Desire to Celebrate Your Life! What Does It Look Like When Things Are Going Well?

                        Dieting                                 versus                               

        Grim (harmful) approach

  • Believing that being thin is good, being overweight is bad.
  • Thinking you must weigh XXX pounds.
  • Hating your body–always at war with yourself.
  • Thinking your life will be better when you just lost weight
  • Losing pounds is the focus
Non-dieting* Gentle (nurturing) approach


  • Seeking to improve health, energy, fitness, and well-being.
  • Appreciating body differences of all people, including you
  • Respecting your body and honoring yourself with your daily choices.
  • Accepting yourself for the wonderful person you already are, right now.
  • Cultivating more nurturing and healthful inner attitudes and behaviors is the focus. This happens from an understanding of how lifestyle, familial, genetic, and cultural factors influence your daily patterns.

  • Seeking a quick fix (impatient)
  • Planning to change behaviors only temporarily.
  • Being rigid and perfectionist–all or nothing–abusive towards ourselves and authoritarian.
  • Not wanting to spend the time to explore the “root causes” that have led to your present lifestyle imbalance.

  • Progressing one step at a time (patient) while having FUN!
  • Developing new respectful lifestyle habits that can last a lifetime.
  • Remaining flexible and open to new ideas as you celebrate the joy of learning.
  • Be gentle with ourselves as we practice kind-discipline. We see our unborn wholeness and trust for it to emerge.
  • We set the intention to free our hearts and minds from suffering and desire to cultivate choices that bring lasting well-being to us.

  • Relying on “experts” and exterior guidelines.
  • Attempting deprivation and restriction.
  • Judging food, eating, and exercise behavior as good or bad.
  • Allowing a program to control what you eat, how much, and when.
  • Needing to force yourself to exercise and being very obsessive.

  • Trusting yourself to find what works as you tune within your own self, for your own answers.
  • Being moderate and positive.
  • Doing what you want–with personal responsibility for your choices. Learning where your choices lead you.
  • Eating what you want–with awareness and pleasure.
  • Learning to move your body in ways that bring you pleasure.

  • You may lose weight, but will usually gain it back–plus more.
  • Setbacks will cause guilt, self-blame, and self- hatred.
  • Reinforces binge eating and a preoccupation with food.
  • Lowers your metabolism
  • You’ll feel like a failure when weight is regained.
  • You’ll become even more discouraged that you’ll ever find a solution that is safe and effective.
  • Reinforces an unhealthy relationship with foods and yourself.
  • Diets don’t work for long and they are harmful to us!

  • Your small steps will lead to successfully becoming more fit, healthy, and frisky from within.
  • Setbacks (which are normal and a part of the process of learning any new skill) will encourage forgiveness and increased self understanding and self-mastery.
  • You’ll feel more in charge, as you become more skilled.
  • You’ll learn more about yourself than you might have ever thought possible and make changes that you really want to make.
  • You have learned to develop a more unconditional and compassionate friendship with yourself!


  © 2004, adapted with permission, Kaiser Permanente Northwest Health Education Services, Cultivating Health™ Weight Management Kit


                                                                           Feast on…

                   Visit to Feast on a “Diet of Self-love” and Self-Care

 Check out Linda Bacon, PhD for an exploration of HAES principles:

http://www.lindabacon.org/ and her book : http://www.lindabacon.org/haesbook/

Feast on a diet of self-love

A Diet of Self Love

Stir up and savor nurturing thoughts and actions

Discover How to Develop a Loving Relationship with You

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The Diet VS Non-diet graph above expresses a holistic and respectful focus. This BLOG and Web site (see 12 Essential Skills section and others) make suggestions on how to apply this new paradigm. My intention is promote this new way of cultivating life-long health and well-being.

This BLOG and Web site is VERY ECLECTIC, that is I have included many different approaches from numerous authors. I have NOT found that there is any one approach that will work for everyone. The issues that I have explore have been all of the ones that influence the 20 – 60 people that I have seen every week during the last year and during the last 25 years that I have taught healthier lifestyle programs.

I have found that NO ONE approach, book, resource, or process provides the COMPLETE answer to personal transformation. So, take what you like (what works for you) and leave the rest (what doesn’t work for you).


Engender a sense of tolerance.

There are many paths to well-being.

Use what works. Release what doesn’t.

These tools and information are supplied as a initial support to promote self-management and self-awareness (guided learning) in certain areas. They are to provide FLEXIBLE–NOT RIGID–STRUCTURE and a “tool kit” of OPTIONS to try out. They are to be experimented with, using the suggestions and ideas FLEXIBLY and respectfully. Take what you like–what is helpful, and leave the rest–what isn’t helpful to you.

124 WISDOM ROCK_4557081

It is also essential to explore Do You Experience Overwhelming Circumstances? section if you find your life at present is touched by many challenging circumstances that make achieving a healthier weight seem impossible. You might feel helpless and hopeless about changing. Is this how you are feeling? I have felt that same way before. Things CAN change for the better.

To achieve a healthier life and be healthier–permanently, (health maintenance), you will need to change the way you live your life. An essential skill and practice is for YOU to become your own personal lifestyle coach. To begin, see How To Use This Site.

This process can be FUN and enjoyable! Self-care should NEVER be torture, or in any way personally disrespectful. You can learn to celebrate a healthful lifestyle! In fact, making FUN your focus will insure that your new patterns naturally become your new way you create your life.

14 JUMP FOR JOY_4884755

Frolic around:  CELEBRATE Healthful Eating! Yum! Make It FUN. Make It Colorful!, CELEBRATING The Simple Joys Of Life!, The Power of Fun: Celebrate Enjoyable Ways To Be Active!, Frolic in Nature, An Alphabetical Guide to Zestful Living, and Sprinkle Dollops of Delight and Self-Care Towards Yourself for ideas of how to begin.

My intention is that you DO NO HARM to yourself through your exploring and using any of the materials on my BLOG or Web site. You guide yourself with intention–the vision to be the happiest and healthiest you can be– but NOT torture or any form of self-disrespect!

uncondition love ROSE

Know when to focus out. Stop trying too hard. Make learning all of these new skills more like a enjoying a hobby rather than doing a tedious and difficult job. Practice the Essential Skill #9-self-nurturing and self-esteem when you find your “well of reserve” a little depleted and you feel drooped.


Along your journey of change, be gentle with yourself!

Be respectful towards yourself:


“Don’t shout at the apple and demand that it ripen!

It won’t ripen any faster and all you’ll get is a sore throat!!!”

—Advice given to me by my counselor

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