How to Deal With Crisis Oh No, the Computer or Car Crashes, or Basement Floods…OR!


Tools to use when things run amuck

Problems are only temporary and are opportunities in work clothes!

Rise above the clouds and you will see the sun. In every problem, there is opportunity; you need only look for it. Still your mind and you will be guided to turn each challenge into a gift of growth.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could schedule crisis in? Gee, I have time next Tuesday at around 3 P.M. and it would be a good time then! But that’s not the way it usually goes.

For me in the last couple of weeks the basement sewer backed up and there was standing water in several rooms of the basement. Recently there have been lost house keys and misplaced wallets! Then, just a week later the computer crashed and needed a new hard drive! Oh NO! What to do??!!

Pause when agitated or doubtful and wait for the intuitive thought or decision.

First the shock and amazement arise! Oh no, how could THIS be happening! But, but…this happens to other people, not ME! Surprise! This is a “pop quiz!” How well have I integrated my lifestyle self-management skills into my life? Can I bring a measure of peace, perspective, and calm into a challenging situation? How can I do this?

When life presents us with a lemon, don’t squeeze it in your eye!

Alan Cohen suggests in his book I Had It All The Time, “Adversity is the soil in which seeds of greatness are grown. Every great person has achieved mastery not in spite of their challenges, but because of them. Difficulties are not boulders to crush us, but stones to build a stairway to the stars.”

Consider a crisis as an opportunity in work clothes! I try to use everything that happens in my life for spiritual and emotional practice or training. When I go through a challenging life experience, I can validate for myself my increasing competency and also authenticate the knowledge that is contained in the life-wisdom and spiritual  teachings that are given below.

They describe what happens to me and help me “reframe” the experience. Alan Cohen suggests in his book I Had It All The Time, “How would one who remembered his wholeness see this? Quickly the “test” will become a gift. You do not need to pass it; you need to embrace it…It is an invitation to love yourself more. Everything is an invitation to love yourself more.” I come to respond with increasing levels of inner peace and acceptance, although things are still chaotic on the outside!  I then ask myself some important questions.

What can I learn about myself and life? What view or attitude will allow me respond to my life in a peaceful and engaged way? How do things REALLY exist? Are they solid? Do they always stay the same? Do material possessions or things outside of myself bring lasting happiness to me? What really brings happiness to me? What is really true? What is genuinely valuable in my life? I notice that:

Notice Everything changes!

constant change

What seems SO constant and permanent can actually vanish or change beyond recognition

at any time for reasons that are completely beyond our control!

We do what needs to be done, but release expectations of seeing the results of our actions.

We begin to appreciate the notion of control is an illusion.

Circumstances change, and we simply don’t know what is going to happen next.

The only thing to do is what’s in front of us, making the best effort possible!

  Adapted from Ken McCloud, in his book Wake Up To Your Life, page 102 – 104

My recent crisis validated for me Ken’s wisdom! I usually try to take a few minutes (if possible) to pray, tune into my feelings about what’s going on, or perhaps to pause and take a NAP! Then my head and emotions are cleared of the fog of distress that may momentarily engulf me.

 To cultivate healthy thinking habits, first acknowledge and pay attention to the automatic reactions and emotions that arise during a crisis. It is natural to experience grief, overwhelm, and perhaps frustration. Try to just “be present” with yourself. Just notice that things ARE really challenging. I use the process: Do You Experience a RAIN of Feelings? and How to Develop a Loving, Nurturing, Inner Voice for You to help me observe all of my inner reactions–and to just be a loving friend to me when I’m having a hard time.

After calming down, perhaps consider some of the following suggestions. All of the insights and resources below are an invaluable source of comfort and wisdom during difficult times.

 Frolic around:

Perform Practical Problem Solving From a Place of Perspective and Peace

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During a crisis, I certainly take all of the feasible steps that I know about to remedy the immediate urgent situation.

  • I evaluate the problem. What’s going on? I try to do a quick assessment. What are all of the factors that influence the present situation?

  • What can I do about the problem? What are some alternatives? I try to come up a variety of possible fixes or options. Can I fix it myself? Or do I need some help? Who can I call? What resources do I need?

  • What are the pros and cons of the possible choices and different fixes?

  • I then make a decision to try something out. I ask, “Did it work?” Yes? Partially fix the problem? No? I keep trying different things out until the crisis is stabilized.

  • I ask myself, “What can I do to prevent the problem from happening again, or minimize the impact?” Like buying an external hard drive to back up my data before the computer crashes again, or performing regular maintenance on the car.

  • Sometimes things work out the way I would want them to. Other times, I get to practice patience and acceptance! I always congratulate myself for taking the time to use these self-management tools. Good show Bob!

How Do I Continue With My Healthy Self-Care During a Crisis?

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I use the Daily Personal 5-Minute Check-In and Cultivate Daily Quiet and Personal Introspection Time, and also the wisdom and experience I have in maintaining my weight and sanity that is shared in Discover and Apply Your Own Healthful Lifestyle Maintenance Schedule.

I also Get to Know My Stress and How to Manage It and practice on-the-spot stress management techniques. What’s more, I Relax, Observe, and Allow along my life’s journey and give myself an Emotional—Spiritual Tune-up. Lastly, I keep my life in as much balance as possible. Ah…much better!

I try to remain mindful of what I need to stay well and not to get too stressed out and compulsive! It’s not OK to kill Bob off (or YOU either!), even for a spectacular reason!

Managing the Emotional and Physical Pain of Chronic Illness or Injuries


If your crisis is physical in nature, e.g. injured limbs, heart attack, or other chronic illnesses, that involve you or a loved one, perhaps check out:

When a crisis happens for me, this is a reminder of some profound spiritual principles. I’ve studied the ideas, now I can see their value in every-day life. I encourage myself to reflect on:

Crisis extinguish with water

Helpful Resources

Healing Power: Ten Steps to Pain Management and Spiritual Evolution by Philip Shapiro M. D. Visit Dr. Shapiro at: Publisher Comments:
We seek unlimited peace, love and joy in an uncertain world where suffering is inevitable. Because we manage our pain poorly, we get into trouble. The wisdom of the ages, taught by the world’s diverse religious traditions, offers a solution to this dilemma by pointing out the connection between pain management and the cultivation of spiritual qualities. When we develop a spiritual practice, we learn how to transform our suffering into spiritual power. Dr. Shapiro describes a self-help method of ten steps that propel spiritual evolution. The ten steps teach us how to expand our healing power, improve our pain management skills, and cultivate spiritual qualities. The central premise is that life, through a series of painful lessons, teaches us that the peace, love, and joy we seek in the outer world can and must ultimately be found within. Dr. Shapiro elaborates twelve spiritual methods derived from the world’s great religions. These methods help us unlock healing and spiritual powers inherent in the body. Detailed instructions explain how these methods help us cultivate peace, love, joy, strength, and courage in response to any pain of the body, mind, or soul. These qualities are the jewels of this life. They are healers. They help us eliminate or endure any painful condition of body, mind, or soul. They are more powerful than any barrier or challenge we may face. We encounter trouble no matter which route we take, but the way offered here is the path of least resistance, the way through our pain to peace, power, and strength. As we move forward through the steps, we find ourselves living the richest possible life, a journey where our spirit is in charge and we are ready for anything!

Explore the book, Practicing The Power of Now, (1999), by Eckhart Tolle, New World Library Sounds True has audio and videotapes of this book, and many other titles.  800-333-9185Provides suggestions and insights to experience the joy of being, to enter the now, to accept whatever is happening (to see impermanence and the cycles of life), and to transform the “pain body” in us. This section is especially helpful when you find yourself triggered into a dark mood–it comes upon you– and you start getting into a negative mind-pattern and thinking how dreadful your life is; you might feel depressed, despairing, and cynical and find yourself having a desire to hurt yourself or others, or find you become very angry or withdrawn. Notice, your thinking has become aligned with the pain-body. See Chapter Six: Dissolving the Pain Body. I found it to be extremely helpful and very practical.


Gift From Within ( a non-profit organization is dedicated to those who suffer post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), those at risk for PTSD, and those who care for traumatized individuals.  GFW helps everyone with PTSD by sharing ideas, improving morale, and reducing the stigma of the diagnosis and its treatment. We have articles written by authorities in the field, poetry and art gallery for trauma survivors, peer support pal network, personal coping and inspirational stories, a Q&A, videos, book reviews, list of retreats for survivors, global list of trauma survivor support groups, and other educational materials and resources.

Some of our articles include:  “The Art and Science of Caring for Others without Forgetting Self-Care”; Trauma Addiction: Safety and Stabilization for the Addicted Survivor of Trauma;  Life After Breast Cancer: Surviving & Thriving; “Exposure To A Traumatic Event Does Not Automatically Put A Person On A Path To Develop PTSD: The Importance of Protective Factors To Promote Resiliency.”; Latinas in Pursuit of Healing: Cultural Implications for Counseling Sexually Abused Latinas; “I Will Survive: The African-American Guide to Healing from Sexual Assault and Abuse (excerpt)”; Trauma in American Indian Communities; Suffering in Silence: The Problem of Male Sexual Abuse; Stress Responses in Sexual Trauma Victims and in Others Experiencing Overwhelming Events ; Don’t Make it Worse! Use of Alcohol or Drugs After Trauma; Secret Diet Disasters of Trauma Survivors



Cultivate Vitality in Your Wallet!

Vitality in Your Wallet



A Contact list:

 What am I grateful for today? 5 things?

 What can I do besides eating (or other harmful behavior)?

 My inspiring purpose? Why does it matter?



Contact list: people, friends, on-line support, e-mail contacts, phone meetings and phone numbers, spiritual supports? What could help?


What am I grateful for? Think of at least 5 things: OA fellowship, dear friends, housing, healthy foods, freedom from food obsession, blessings and gifts from other people, money to purchase adequate food, a body that works? What do I take for granted?


What can I do besides eating? How can I restore myself in healthy ways? What would be fun? Check out Ideas for Self-Nurturing. What is euphoric but non-caloric?

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What is my inspiring purpose? What does it mean to me or do for me? Why bother? How will my efforts at creating a healthy lifestyle benefit me and other people?


Overeaters Anonymous slogans or any of my other key messages? One day at a time, keep coming back, easy does it, but do it. Develop skill power so you don’t need will power!

ABC's of Zestful Living-COLOR

Write the above information on a 3”X5” index card (that is folded in half)

and keep it in your wallet.

Refer to it when you feel like overeating

or practicing any other addictive behavior.

Nurturing nibbles posters:

Developing and Maintaining a “Personal Plan of Eating”


Before you begin, it would be helpful to review the insights and suggestions from the Dieting VS. Non-Dieting section. Remember that all of this is an experiment. As an example, for me, I discovered that super-chunk peanut butter is a trigger food.

There are some schools of thinking that suggest that if you always have the food around and allow yourself a small amount of it whenever you want, without any denial or guilt, that you will come to a place of eating it in moderation. I tried that out, time after time, and for me found that it did not work. I would almost always end up eating more of than I had planned.



So I came up with another plan that worked better for me which I share in the section of how I discovered new foods. For most foods that I eat, having unlimited quantities around the house works very well. I don’t overeat them. It’s really important to develop your own inner kind-wisdom and self-discipline for yourself and your life.

Perhaps read over my story of how I learned about myself and found new foods and choices that were more effective. Remember that you are on a journey towards increasing health and well-being and you are planting the garden of your life with seeds of well-being–and nurturing them, and will reap your garden of health and friskiness!!

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You learn about yourself through:

  • Personal discovery through experimentation and practice in making skillful choices that honor and respect ourselves at every level of our lives.
  • There is no “right or wrong”. It’s just what works for you. You update or change your strategies depending on what you notice about yourself through your daily self-introspection.
  • Once you recognize the pattern, you can plan a new response for a situation.

EXPLORE: Notice The Web of Existence: Patterns, patterns everywhere. Not a moment’s peace! and  Which Puzzle Pieces Contribute to Your Overweight?, and What Does It Look Like When Things Are Going Well?


AIM FOR The Inner Oval–Focus On: Healthy Maintenance Schedule

  • Daily choices of foods, skills, and activities that support a healthy lifestyle, as well as, mental and emotional well being.
  • Foods, activities, and daily patterns that naturally keep you feeling balanced, happy and glad to be alive.
  • List all foods, beverages that do not cause you to want to overeat and activities that support your flexible plan of eating.

The Middle Oval: The Gray Area

  •  “In this situation it’s best that I not do it for now…and in this situation, I can handle it quite well.
  •  Foods of which we are uncertain about
  • Foods and situations that could lead us to the outer oval of imbalances and problems
  • Potential binge foods—come up with behavioral strategies to manage them

The Outer Oval: The Problematic Area

  • Be honest and gentle. List all foods, beverages, and activities that trigger you to eat much more than you had planned. Be specific. These are the foods and activities that will go in your outer oval.
  • Foods and activities in this oval are carefully chosen (for now) and should be monitored to observe your reactions to them. Be gentle. Be honest. Be aware.
  •  List foods and activities that keep us in isolation and fantasy.
  • List the foods and activities that many times have triggered a binge.

What works for you? To print off the EXAMPLE: Defining A plan of Eating-EXAMPLE.pdf

To print off a BLANK Ovals sheet: Blank The Ovals.pdf


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The Grace Of Eating


In this food,

I see clearly the presence

of the entire universe

supporting my existence.

Taken from Present Moment Wonderful Moment by Thich Nhat Hanh

Food. The Magical Gift–Eating is essentially an act of communion

 with the living forces of nature.

We often take it for granted. We forget that food is precious.

Let us bless the source of life that brings forth bread from the Earth, let our lives be a blessing to the Earth that sustains us, and to all the creatures that, like us, call this planet home.


A Grace Before Our Meal


In this food we see the mysterious creativity of nature and the hard work of the countless people who participated in producing it, to whom we give thanks.  Just as this food provides sustenance to us, may we, through our work and our moment to moment interactions, help to benefit others.  Bon appetit! Provided by Jon Dickman


Kiss the Earth
By Thich Nhat Hanh

Walk and touch peace every moment.
Walk and touch happiness every moment.
Each step brings a fresh breeze.
Each step makes a flower bloom.
Kiss the Earth with your feet.
Bring the Earth your love and happiness.
The Earth will be safe
when we feel safe in ourselves.

Adapted from Thich Nhat Hanh: Buddhism in Action, by Maura D. Shaw (Skylight Paths, 2004). Shared by my friend Michelle.

Kiss The Earth and Walk as You Touch Peace in Every Moment!

Taking time to say grace not only blesses the food,

it blesses the people who take the time to say it.

  • Bless this food.

  • Bless these people.

  • Bless this house.

  • Bless this world.

  • We give thanks for this food.

  • We give thanks for each other.

  • We give thanks for our lives.

Adapted from: May All Be Fed, by John Robbins

Before eating, practice breathing to calm down:

  • Breathing in, I calm my body.

  • Breathing out, I smile.

  • Dwelling in the present moment,

  • I know this is a wonderful moment!

Taken from Present Moment Wonderful Moment by Thich Nhat Hanh

The Four Gratitudes: to parents, teachers, friends, and all organic and inorganic species that support and enrich our lives. Taken from Present Moment Wonderful Moment by Thich Nhat Hanh

Five Contemplations before Meals


  1. I contemplate how many blessings I have accumulated in order to receive this food given by others.
  2. I contemplate my own daily practice (of generosity, ethics, kindness, patience, gentle awareness, healthful choices, joyous effort, and compassion), constantly trying to improve it.
  3. I contemplate my mind, cautiously guarding it from wrongdoing, greed, and other spiritual and emotional defilements.
  4. I contemplate this food, treating it as wondrous medicine to nourish my body.
  5. I contemplate the aim of spiritual, mental, and emotional evolution, accepting and consuming this food in order to accomplish it.

By seeing this food as medicine, I will consume it without attachment or hatred, not to increase my arrogance, strength, or good looks, but solely to sustain my life.

May all those who offered me food attain happiness of total peace. May all those who offered me drink, who served me, who received me, who honored me, or who made offerings to me attain happiness which is total peace.

The five contemplations and other thoughts are from Thubten Chodron ( Slightly edited.

Finishing Your Meal

The plate is empty.

My hunger is satisfied.

I vow to live for the benefit of all beings.


Consider dedicating everything in your life for the benefit of all people: Dedication for a Meaningful Life

Bob’s Strength-Training Food Bag…Helps Me Maintain Healthy and Delicious eating!


An Ounce of Pre-planning Keeps You Healthy and Frisky!

LUNCH BAGMY CARDINAL RULE:  IN house, IN sight, IN mind, IN MOUTH!  I keep the refrigerator and cupboards stocked with LOTS of healthful foods. Visit Bob’s Healthful Kitchen and Pantry: What’s In It?

I BRING them with me to work and times of play in a food bag—I’m willing to go to any length because I can easily overeat when I get over hungry and when there is no healthy food available.  I kept hoping that healthful foods would just fall out of the sky for me, but that didn’t happen!

This one tool, my food bag (affectionately referred to as Bob’s Strength-Training Food Bag on account of its incredible weight), helps me eat whenever I’m hungry and to stop when I’m just satisfied. I’ve used this tool for 30 years.  I don’t eat everything in it within the course of a day; however, my carrying it with me provides me with healthful food choices and guarantees I will make it throughout the day without nagging hunger, which could lead me to purchasing fat-enhancing and unhealthy snacks.

Even though I can see the value of this now, it took me quite awhile to be willing to bring foods with me. In 1979 I had just graduated school in dietetics and was working on a new job as a food service supervisor in a hospital kitchen. The kitchen had a wonderful bakery and it was my job to sample the foods before they were sent up to the patients. I could have all of the food that I wanted. Since I could sample the foods for free, I didn’t bring my meals and snacks along with me.

coffeehousecookies1pecan pie

As my diaries showed, on many occasions, one bite led to another: On one Wednesday evening: “I was fighting the desire for sweets all day until 4:30 pm when I tasted 1 cookie in the bakery–> 4 more–>4 brownies–> 2 cookies–>2 chocolate milks–>10 raw cookie dough balls–> 2 candy bars as I went out the door. Oops, I did it again. I need help.” And later in that week on Saturday evening: “I was tired so I ate 5 pieces of pecan pie from tray line. I told myself I was tired and the pie would give me energy. It didn’t!”

I went through countless experiments like this until I realized at a deep level that free food comes with a profound cost to me. I could, at last, see the value of bringing a food bag along with a variety of snacks and foods for mealtime. I clearly saw it would be best NOT to sample all of the foods in the kitchen. I ultimately decided to work in the diet office and to get out of the kitchen because that environment was too stimulating for me.  

How I Do It

The BAG                          

I have a canvas outer bag (actually a Sears tool bag, cost $9) with double-thick paper shopping bags (like the picture below) inside of the canvas. That acts as insulation to keep the foods cold.  I also use frozen bread for sandwiches when it is HOT outside. I find that foods will easily keep cold for 5 hours or more this way. You could also just bring along a insulated cooler.


Extra Stuff

I keep napkins, plastic silverware, plastic bags, and of course, lots of different foods! I also keep a meditation book so that I can take time to “nourish my spirit.” 

I may even bring along a banana with a LOVE NOTE ON IT. HPIM1088.JPG I write on the banana using a pen. I also share these BANANAS with friends! It’s lots of fun.

A fun thing to do is to write a message on a green banana and mail it to a friend. Just wrap it in a tissue paper, put it in a small box and mail it. When it arrives at its destination, it will have ripened to its normal yellow color and greet its recipient with cheery tidings. You’ve heard of F.T.D. florists? Well, this is B.T.D. banana—Banana Trans Delivery! A sample message could be, “My love has ripened for you.” Or “You drive me bananas.” Or “I find you so appealing.”

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I keep a meditation book  in my lunch bag so that I can take time to “nourish my spirit.”  I may bring along some sticky notes (or bananas) with affirming messages from Nourishing Affirmations! and find that these can help really make my day. They are fuel for my soul and lift me up when I feel drooped. When I’m feeling the need to be embraced by kindness, I review Loving-Kindness: Learn to Befriend Ourselves and Others. If I’m feeling really confused I look at Out of Hell, Into Freedom Thoughts.

For a printable version On-The-Go Packed Lunches.pdf

 The Foods

I will bring along: leftovers from meals in plastic containers, raw veggies in bags, various salads in yogurt containers, different kinds of raw fruit, Mexican-flavored soy beans, raw nuts, dried fruits, and yogurt with fruit added, (pay a visit to Nutritious and Yummy Snacks, Lunches,  OR Quick Vegetarian Main Dish Ideas, Quick Menu Ideas for Home and On the Go,and Stoveless Meals for additional ideas). I frequently take along sandwiches to eat. Fillings may be: tofu pate, hummus (or garbanzo spread) or other bean spread, low fat cheese, soy meats or low-fat pastrami or ham, tuna, turkey breast, or salmon salad.

I keep non-perishable foods in the bag at all times: various dried fruits, raw nuts, soy beans, and soy jerky, candied ginger, and crackers.


I put together the foods in the A.M. (but you certainly could do it the night before). It takes only a few minutes. I then have enough food with me for all the day’s meals and snacks.

When I’m hungry, I can listen to my body and eat. That saves me from getting too hungry and then overeating. It also saves me from the temptation of raiding the vending machines at work, and saves lots of $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$!

What’s inside the bag?


Click Here to see a Windows Media File (Need DSL, takes 8 minutes to upload)

Remember Food For the Spirit!


To see a Windows Media File movie description click here. (Need DSL, takes 2 minutes to upload)

Explore also: On-The-Go Packed Lunches  and What Does Bob Typically Eat In Any Given Day?


Out of Hell, Into Freedom Thoughts

Going Within For Your Answers


We all arrive at that place where our thinking is confused and reflects a great deal of inner distress. I have found new seed thoughts and insights that I plant into my mind at those times.

When I’m confused, cranky, compulsive, discouraged, frustrated, or angry, I go out for a walk. Walking for me is like a mini-vacation from my daily routine and worries. It always relaxes and revitalizes me. It is a time for inner reflection. I bring along a piece of paper with the following thoughts listed and one-by-one and consider the following:

Wise beings shape their own lives: My choosing to take time to consider the following thoughts is a gift to me.   I choose to nurture a sense of joy & contentment!   Remember, I choose my own state of mind.


Loving-kindness & good wishes:

What do I really need right now, in this moment, to be happy?

Am I happy? May I be happy. May I be free! Now.

Compassion: May I be free from pain & sorrow.

May I be free from danger & harm.

May I:

Patience: Let go of the tension to achieve, do, grasp or understand anything. Allow the present moment.


Nurturing joy:

Each person is the owner of his or her own choices.

Today, am I being enough? Consider:

May I CELEBRATE the weeds, the flowers and the cultivation of life—from seed potential—to flowering of wonders.   May I experience a deep feeling of trust & contentment in life’s mysterious journey.   May I remember that I am surrounded by infinite love.  


May I trust that all people are cared for and have universal support for all of their needs to be met.


It is not my job to fix the world. It doesn’t need fixing. Release from shutting down my joy because of the world’s suffering.


Honor the suffering of each being and what it teaches them.

May I guide the being that lives inside of my skin with great tenderness and respect.


I can:

·         Trust life’s process,

·         Flow with unfolding events,

·         Surrender to what is and what isn’t,

·         And have contentment. All is well.

May I trust the process & timing of life’s journey of evolution—from one change to another.


As I calm down the chaos in my mind, my mind reflects understanding and insight into the wonders and challenges of life. It becomes like a lake, which, after a storm passes, becomes calmed of ripples. Ah…

May I become a doctor to my own mind!


May all people have happiness and the causes of happiness.

May all people be free of anguish and the causes of anguish.

May all people not be separated from the great happiness that is beyond all misery.

May all people abide in balance, free of bias, attachments and anger.  

To Your Own Self Be True!Serenity Prayer

I open my heart up to light-heartedness!

I open my heart up to joy!

I open my heart up to laughter!

 I open my heart up to FUN!


The day of non-judgment is coming!!!

Don’t look around and see what the world needs.

LOOK at what you need to truly come alive

and give that to yourself,

because what the world needs is…

 “truly alive people”,

  and give that gift to the world!

                                                                           Harold Thurman Whitman

Angels Song

I intend with my whole being to cultivate and grow a heart that is

–intimate with and accepting of–all of life!

I will free my heart from all suffering, pain, and distress!

Be happy for this moment--it is your life!

Nurturing Nibbles: Learn How to Practice a Diet of Self-love


Stop traditional dieting! Feast on a diet of self-love. Create a life that blesses you with every choice you make! Stir up & savor nurturing thoughts & actions for you. NOTE: All of these lovely drawings are in color in my Playbook. Check out my dear friend Carol’s website who created these lovely drawings: see her other works

Visitto Feast on a “Diet of Self-love”


Being an adult human is difficult at times. Consider that when you’re feeling sad or overwhelmed, listen to your inner emotional cries. Just as a mother would react towards her beloved child, embrace your pain & confusion. Be kind. Be gentle. Be compassionate…with you!


How to Develop a Loving, Self-Nurturing, Inner Voice For You!

To hear a Windows Media File of How to Develop a Nurturing Inner Voice for You, double click (quickly) here.

How to Develop a Loving Relationship with You

Many of us don’t know how to develop an unconditionally friendly and gentle inner voice for ourselves when we make mistakes and get off track. So talk with yourself: Oh sweetheart, what’s the matter? What do you need? I’m here for you. I LOVE you. This poster shares how to develop a compassionate friendship with…yourself! It gives ideas about how to do it every day.

Non Violent Communication

Dialectical behavior therapy

Setting Healthy Boundaries

What Are We Powerless Over?

Make Your Mind an Ocean: Become Your Own Therapist!

Out of Hell, Into Freedom Thoughts

Thoughts On Healing and Helping Yourself and Others

What Is Life About? Heart Advice

Home Coming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child

(Healing from adverse childhood experiences)


After you’ve checked inside and found out what you need to be well, then invest in frisky living for yourself! Cultivate body, mind, and spiritual health. Our lives are an ecosystem. Every choice we make affects every other choice we make. Make a regular investment in you: consume essential self-care nutrients. Explore Physical, Spiritual, People Support, Mental/emotional, and Flexible Lifestyle Structure to help you achieve your dreams! Each of these is a GIFT to yourself and the world. Start where you are and create a new life!


Creating Healthy Relationships


The KEY thing is to make all of this exploration…FUN! Celebrate lifelong-learning. Focus on your favorite things…make this more like a hobby of healthfulness, instead of job that you don’t enjoy. You can see I LOVE food and cooking, gardening, music, computers, and all of nature…LIFE reach out and hug it! Check out Frolic in Nature on my website for wonderful nature spots in the Pacific Northwest.

To help you feel better and restore balance you…give to yourself and brew-up and invent a new life! You’re part of the research and development department. Set you intention for yourself to stretch yourself to your highest levels of health and well being. Have FUN!


Through this process of regular self-nurturing you say YES to your wild and precious life! You have within you all the answers to the challenges you face. Become your own personal lifestyle trainer. Tune within for your answers. As you practice this skill, step-by-step you become healthier from the inside out!


Because I am the only person I will have a relationship with all of my life, I choose:
* To love myself the way I am now
*To always acknowledge that I am enough just the way I am
*To love, honor, and cherish myself
* To be my own best friend
*To be the person I would like to spend the rest of my life with
* To always take care of myself so that I can take care of others
*To always grow, develop, and share my love and life
Ron and Mary Hulnick, University of Santa Monika


Here’s a picture of Bob’s “strength-training lunch bag.” I never go out of the house without some healthy munchies with me. Then I can eat whenever I’m hungry. I plan for it in the morning then don’t have to worry about it during the day. It saves time, money, helps me maintain balanced, healthy, and delicious eating. See my Playbook and website for MANY ideas on my strength-training lunch bag.


Go on the wild side! Create new traditions. Here’s my friend Jon as he celebrates his birthday with a SANDWICH BIRTHDAY CAKE! See my website for complete information to make this healthy and really yummy cake.!.htm


Here’s my Playbook! It shares the essence of all the wisdom that I’ve learned after working with about 75 people every week for the last 20 years as a lifestyle coach and health educator. My website   has about 16-18 books worth of information and links to hundreds of other terrific sites. The KEY skill is to develop compassionate awareness or mindfulness of how your moment-by-moment choices affect your life. As you plant your life with seeds of well-being you gradually become fit and frisky from within! Happy gardening.


Here’s the back cover of my Playbook. Check out the Essential Skills that allow you to develop skill power and not have to rely on will power. Through practicing these skills, you’ll become your own lifestyle coach and be able to guide yourself through all of life’s seasons. Happy exploring!


Metaphorically, become a gardner to your own mind and life. Discover the truth: What you plant is what you get! Your moment-by-moment choices shape your life. You BECOME what you think, what you eat, and what you do! You create your life with each choice you make, so plant the garden of your life with seeds of well-being…and gradually reap your harvest of health and friskiness!!


Don’t we all need love, especially now? All of our world is struggling at this moment. Consider nurturing love and caring for everyone, including you!

The message of my Playbook, website, and these “nurturing nibbles” posters is to feast on an unconditionally loving friendship with yourself and all people on earth.

As Ghandi said, ” Be the change in yourself that you want to see in the world.”

Your healing contributes to the healing of the world! Much love and caring to you,

🙂 Bob


In the 8th grade my lifestyle habits were completely off track. I was depressed, emotionally shut down, and had very low self esteem. My eating and lifestyle habits kept me in the same place for years until I was 21 years old. To change, I needed to learn WHY I made the choices I did, and learn new lifestyle skills to do it differently. I’ve now kept making these new choices for 42 years.


Here’s me. I’m hiking in Goat Rocks Wilderness. I could NEVER have done this unless I’d changed my lifestyle habits. The quality of my life has dramatically improved because of my learning the 12 essential skills that are shared in my Playbook. At 63 years old I still go back packing with about a 45-pound pack on my back!  Check out my Frolic In Nature page for beautiful pictures of lovely spots.


Bob’s birthday picture at 63 years old!